CODE OF CONDUCT

Consent

House of Play is a community for exploring conscious sexuality and deep connections between people in a safer space driven by care and consent. 

We see consent as a positive force that allow us to be braver, go deeper and play safer.

Consent brings trust, and trust creates a foundation for playfulness, so at House of Play we practice the art of asking and accepting. Ask for boundaries and needs of others. Greet a “no” with a “thank you”.

AN INCLUSIVE SPACE

House of Play is a place where we can all express ourselves and expect to be heard. A place to bravely share wants and desires, and to say no to things that we do not want. 

To ensure that we all have equal access to express ourselves, we reject racism, transphobia, bi- and homophobia, sexism, slutshaming and kinkshaming. 

At House of Play we do this by helping each other educate ourselves in our own privilege. We strive to stop reproducing stereotypes and unintentional power dynamics.  

The aim is to create a space where we all feel accepted and safe to freely connect and contribute to the common co-creation of House of Play. 

REJECTION AND BRAVE FRAGILITY

It is our belief that we as humans inherently wish to feel connection with other humans, to feel understood and wanted. We also believe that we carry with us the fear of being rejected. 

Being rejected can be unpleasant, it can trigger deep fears or traumas and shake our trust in whether we are worthy. We all are.

At House of play we embrace rejections. Not as a goal in itself but as a necessary means to deep, caring, and safe connection. 

We help each other practice how to take responsibility for our own feelings in that situation, to allow the feeling, to not blame the person rejecting us but appreciate their honesty. 

This makes House of Play a space with less expectations and more communication so that we can actually feel free to connect and reject or be rejected with brave fragility and less fear - as we see fit in any one moment. Knowing that the next moment might be different.

THE TRAFFIC LIGHT SYSTEM 

In House of Play we use the traffic light system to check in with each other during play. 

GREEN means: hell yeah, go on! this is good (please ask often: “Are we still on green?”). 

YELLOW means: something is slightly off, and I (maybe) need some time to find out what it is, so please check in with me! 

RED means full stop. Stop the play. 

If the play partner that announced the RED, does not feel comfortable with you anymore or withdraws - please contact the space holders, so we can support you and everyone else involved. See more below.

BOUNDARIES AND BAD EXPERIENCES

At House of Play we strive to create spaces that are safer, however when exploring boundaries and complex social dynamics - bad experiences and misunderstanding will occur. We do not believe that these situations can be fully avoided, but we do however wish to help each other handle them in the best way possible.
In this event we urge you to not dismiss the feeling but help the community help you. 

If you feel unsafe at any point, we invite you to tell the person(s) responsible in a respectful manner. If you do not feel comfortable doing so, we urge you to let our facilitators know - they will support you and handle the situation in according to our anti-abuse policy.

Exclusion 

We reserve the right to decide who can be members and who can participate in public events without justification. In special cases it may be necessary to reject a membership application, cancel an existing membership or ban a person from attending events at House of Play. These cases are often highly sensitive. For the sake of protecting all parties. it can be the case that the basis for exclusion is not publicly available. We recognize that this can be straining for the affected individual and will only be used if necessary. 

Previous exclusion

If you have previously been barred from access to other spaces, you must let us know before you apply for membership or attend any activities in House of Play, and one of our representatives will reach out to you. You start by writing an email to: info@houseofplay.dk


Anti-Abuse policy

This policy aims to be pre-emptive, interrupting misunderstandings or misconduct before incidents happen. 

YELLOW: Someone makes you feel uncomfortable, it seems to you that something is not right.
Let us know. We will trust you and keep an eye on the person.

ORANGE: Something has happened that can be interpreted as non-consensual or inappropriate behavior, but it could perhaps be interpreted otherwise, as a misunderstanding. It makes you feel very uncomfortable.
Don’t question your intuition. Come to us. We will talk to the person and tell them that their behavior makes others uncomfortable. We request that they stop engaging in any interactions immediately to reconsider and change their behavior. Otherwise, they will be removed from the space. 

RED: A clear cut violation of consent and/or boundaries.
We immediately remove this person from the space. An accountability process will be initiated a few days later. 

This policy is inspired by Karada House in Berlin in turn inspired by the Color Code of Conduct, invented by the owner of Homeroom restaurant, Oakland, California. 

CODE OF CONDUCT AT HOUSE - CREATING A SAFER SPACE

  • To attend activities in House of Play we expect the following of you:

  • You will communicate your own needs, intentions, and boundaries clearly and ensure ongoing consent from the people you play with. 

  • You will hold space for critique, feedback and try to restore connection in case of misunderstandings and miscommunication.

  • You will respect and use the pronouns wished by other members.

  • You will respect the privacy of others. You will follow the photo policy of the events you attend and never take photos without full consent from everyone in the photo. You will not reveal the identity of people you have met at House of Play.

  • If intoxicated in any way, you will make sure to make this known to people you interact with. No illegal substances are tolerated at House of Play.

  • You have familiarized yourself with the traffic light system above and respect “red” as a stop word at House of Play. No exceptions.

  • You are 21 years of age or more

CHILI SYSTEM

At House of Play we strive to create safer, warm and inclusive spaces. Our chili system is meant as a guidance and you are never expected to do anything outside your personal boundaries. Please reach out to us if you are still unsure.

🌶️ No sexual interaction, fully clothed

🌶️ 🌶️ None to mild sensual/intimate interaction. Sexy clothes optional, minimum underpants - No full nudity.

🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️ There can be mild to full sensual/sexual/intimate interaction, participants are usually clothed and play with a variety of expressions. Nudity allowed.

🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️ This is a fully sex inclusive space and various forms of sensual/sexual/intimate expression may take place. Nudity allowed.